Building a better body image.
Would you believe your body image actually has nothing to do with how you look?
Body image is more about how we view ourselves, yet we don’t always see the truth.
There are 4 components to body image:
Perceptual - how you perceive yourself is not always a true representation of what you look like.
Affective - the way you feel about your body. Attaching an emotion to your looks causes you to see things as positive or negative.
Cognitive - the thoughts you tell yourself in relation to your body; as if your body is directly affecting certain things, when in reality, it isn’t.
Behavioural - the way you act in relation to your looks. Potentially limiting yourself based on how you view your body.
Attach these common thoughts and phrases to their body image source:
“I hate my arms”
“I could never wear that”
“I have such big thighs”
“My stomach is ugly”
“I will be more confident when I lose weight”
“I have such a dad bod”
“If I tone up I will find a relationship”
“I can’t go swimming”
(affective, behavioural, perceptual, affective, cognitive, perceptual, cognitive, behavioural)
What you see is not always what is true.
As you can hopefully see, the way you view your body isn’t always an accurate representation of how your body actually is. I’m sure we all have experienced being around someone who comments on their body in a way that we do not see as true; that friend that is always hating on their stomach or their thighs and we don’t understand why. Well you can also be that person. Hating on your body when no one else shares those thoughts about you.
This is why changing your body is not the answer.
You can change your body image without changing your body but your body image won’t automatically change if you first focus on changing your body, which is why so many people are never satisfied even if they achieve their initial body goal.
This isn’t me saying don’t ever have a body related goal again, this is me emphasizing how your body is not the problem and how things will not automatically be better if you look different.
Societal body ideals constantly change. From girls being told to strive to have no bum to a Kim K replica and guys being told to build their arms, no wait thighs, no wait 6 pack… we are in a sea of unrealistic expectations and personal critique.
It’s no wonder we all struggle to feel good enough, especially when it comes to our looks.
But you see, the thing is, if we are kinder to ourselves, learn how to appreciate and respect our bodies and look after our health, we will most likely see physical changes anyway. We will not only feel better and happier in our skin (and in general) but we will take care of ourselves more, allowing our bodies to find their natural sweet spot.
There are so many variations of body type out there that it would be silly for us to all strive to look like a carbon copy of someone else. There is not one size fits all when it comes to body types and so we need to stop dictating our relationship with our own body based upon how someone else looks.
I’m sorry to break it to you but you will never look like them, because you aren’t them, you’re you.
And you are beautiful as you are.
So, regardless of our other goals, let’s work on enhancing our body image. Let’s learn to acknowledge the positives and appreciate what our bodies do for us.
Activity
Write down something your body does for you.
Write down something you are grateful for and how your body contributes to this.
Write down one way you could look after your body more/something you already do.
Do this exercise regularly, daily if possible, and start to build a better relationship with your body.
It will take time, and it requires patience, consistency and compassion but improving your body image will be one of the most valuable things you do for yourself.
And remember, if you can’t love your body as it is, that is ok. Instead work towards neutrality, a respect and an understanding for your body.
After all, your body is your forever home, it’s up to you to look after it and treat it well.